On Babies, Anger, and Sadness

Most of the time, I’m in a good place when it comes to my daughter’s adoption. Almost always, in fact. I feel that I made the right choice and I love the parents and family that I chose for her, so that brings me peace. But that’s not to say that I never feel sadness […]

When People Talk About Their Kids

I’ll start by saying that this is different for everyone, birth moms especially. I know birth moms who can’t stand talking about kids because it hurts, and I know birth moms who nanny for a living because they love kids so much. How you react to the topic of children depends entirely on your situation, […]

Adoption Roundtable: Birthdays

Birthdays can be an extremely emotional time, for everyone connected to adoption, not just those of us in open adoptions. So what is it that we do, as part of our open adoptions, during the “birthday season”?   I really don’t have trouble on my own birthday, but I remember feeling extremely emotional around L’s […]

World Adoption Day

I missed World Adoption Day.   Well, in truth, I skipped it. I didn’t write anything on November 9th, in spite (or maybe because of) the fact that I felt this overwhelming — and totally unwarranted — pressure to add my voice. I felt I should have some opinions on that particular day, and I […]


I spent the whole day on the 31st thinking about my daughter. It was Halloween, right? So everyone was talking about their Halloween plans — where they were going to go trick-or-treating, what their kids were dressing up as.   The point is, I thought about L all day. When people talked about Halloween costumes […]